


365 So Stressed

by HeadphoneActor



Category: Naruto
Genre: Asexual Character, Attempted Sexual Assault, Bisexual Uzumaki Naruto, Blood and Violence, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kleptomania, Lesbian Haruno Sakura, Male Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Murder, On the Run, Partying, Self-Defense
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:54:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24379057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeadphoneActor/pseuds/HeadphoneActor
Summary: What happens when you put a kleptomaniac, a murderer and a suicidal junkie in a car together...Or365 Fresh AU with Team 7
Relationships: Haruno Sakura & Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	1. Introduction; Naruto

**Author's Note:**

> I know in 365 Fresh Hyuna & Dawn are all over eachother and SakuSasu is canon so I should put them together...but fuck that Lesbian Sakura is a head canon I refuse to dispose of. No het in this fic.
> 
> Sakura = Lesbian  
> Naruto = Bisexual  
> Sasuke = Asexual & Aromantic 
> 
> Team 7 will have a platonic, sibling-esq relationship.

Naruto was smart, not book smart, but smart with his words and with his hands. He could make anyone flush with a few compliments and while he's at it, steal their wallet. He should have stuck to more petty crimes, nabbing a car from a drug dealer was probably a bad idea. He thought he was just some low level junkie, and, why he wasn't no Al Capone, he certainly wasn't some street rat either, sending half a dozen dudes to surround him, and he probably had a dozen more a couple streets over. God, he didn't even get to keep the car! 

Well, it could have been worse. His face wasn't unrecognisable, it was however noticeably bruised and uglier than usual. His breathing was obviously wheezy and if that didn't go away in the next couple of hours he might just need to take a trip to the Aunt Tsunade to check his insides didn't take the worse of the beating. He had a really vibrant bruise all up his arm and when he tried to move it he ended up biting through his lip. Broken, perhaps. His legs were barely touched, in an odd compassion, or maybe they were too busy beating everything waist up they forgot everything below it. Whatever it was, he was thankful, not being able to walk would probably lead to his corpse being dumped in a lake before morning. At least he could have a chance at running away. 

Naruto knew he couldn't go home, the goons send were just appetizers, a warning, if he went to his home, the police or a hospital, he'd be jumped and killed. He was being played with, he knew it. The first wave of muscle was just to show a teaser of his future, Naruto knew he was a rat in a trap. But, he wasn't a quitter. If he just disappeared for a while, four months tops, he'd be safe. He just needed to survive till then.

First stop, a club. His arm was tightly wrapped in some medical tape he had stolen, he couldn't do much with his face or his hair, so he left it, bruises, messiness and all. He couldn't pull of any charm when his usually slightly above average face had become a -3 out of 10, so, he'd need to do something slightly different and simple. 

The club Naruto chose was high class, it would be filled with rich, tipsy young adults, and, best of all, it had a parking lot underground. Cars were his favourite things to steal, and they came with a lot of perks, a roof over his head and the ability to move far away fast. It was kind of funny the thing that will help him escape is the thing that got him in this mess. 

Getting in was easy, even when his face had been battered, his fake I.D was made by one Shikamaru Nara, and he was the best at these things. Adding Naruto's natural acting abilities, he managed to convince the bouncers he was a haughty socialite, even when he looked like he had been dragged through a cow pasture. 

Glancing around he started to mentally draw a plan, he needed this car fast, and couldn't afford to have his target realise he had stolen their car till he was too far gone. He needed to be close to the exit so he could Immediately grab the car and leave. He also had to be able to grab the car keys with little difficulty. Luckily, there was someone who met all these requirements.

At the bar was a pair of girls, one was a pretty brunette, she had a pretty elaborate look with broad purple streaks on her cheeks and large purple winged eyeshadow. It was very dramatic. The girl next to her was another brunette, her long hair in a pony tail, she had an equally dynamic look, with bright red eyeshadow and triangles on her cheeks, the triangles were so sharp she must have used a ruler or something while doing her makeup. The pair were talking loudly, the red girl was noticeably drunk, while the purple girl held herself together better. 

The red girl had left her car keys innocently next to her. Now, he could just grab them, but they sound they'll make when he grabs them would probably alert the pair or even grab the attention of the bar tender. He'd need to make enough natural noise that the loud jangle of the keys would be drowned out. He guessed he'd have to act like his beloved Godfather for a second.

"Hello ladies" Naruto crooned, his arms heavily draping over the girls shoulders, he leaned forward slightly and slurred his words. The pair immediately reacted how he expected.

"Get off us fucker!" Came the slurred growl from the red girl, pushing him off them, as the pair started verbally abusing him, he used the momentum from the push to grab and pocket the keys, unheard over the pairs complaints.

Not long after the pair sent one final glare and Naruto quickly walked through the exit down to the parking lot, a self satisfied grin on his face. Pressing on the key a car, a couple cars down beeped, it was sleek, silver, not the biggest, definitely designed for speed and aesthetic rather than anything else. Oh, it was perfect. It was obviously expensive but wasn't too stand out and could blend in with other cars, settling into the driver seat he couldn't help the breath he took, it smelt practically new. Ah, it probably was. His luck. Her misfortune. 

It glided out of the parking lot, it was smooth and Naruto thinks he's in love. 

He discovered pretty quickly it also had good brakes.

The moment she stepped into the road he had pressed the brake and for a horrified moment he thought he'd have to add a hit-and-run to his list of crimes. Luckily, the car halted, not even that close to her actually.

Her eyes were wide, bright, terrified green. She had pink hair and her outfit was yellow. She was covered in a wet red. 

He let her in the car.


	2. Introduction; Sakura

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this at half 3 in the morning, so, I'll fix any problems in the more morning morning.  
> This chapter includes some triggering topics in it, so please don't read if these things bother you.
> 
> Sexual Harassment & Assult (Groping & kissing)  
> Implied further Sexual Harassment & Assult attempt  
> Implied rape attempt  
> Manslaughter / Accidental Murder

Sakura wanted to be a hairdresser, when she was little she would brush her dolls hair till soft and straight and give them little braids and space buns. When she got older she experimented on her own hair, it was trial and error, but, eventually, she started getting compliments "wow, your hair is so pretty, where did you get it done?" And when she told them she did it herself they'd beg her to theirs. She loved it, the girls would all smile brightly at her but give themselves this soft, sweet smile in the mirror. But...life didn't really go as she planned.

Instead of being a hairdresser, styling pretty girls hair into kinky curls or dying the tips of confident girls hair or giving shy and cute girls fringes, she was shaving men's faces. Life was truly unfair. 

She was situated on the second floor for work, her clients had to call her beforehand and go up a old steel staircase, her small apartment was the next floor up. The second floor was split between her and the man running the shop downstairs. They talked politely to eachother but they were barely acquaintance. She wasn't even entierly sure what he sold in the shop downstairs, she knew it was some crystal shop but she wasn't sure if that was just a cover up for drugs. 

It was getting late and she only had one customer left, tomorrow was the weekend and she couldn't wait, she took Saturdays and Sundays off and usually spent them with her friends or catching up on some show on Netflix. Her life was pretty dull, she had a job she borderline resented, she was twenty four and hasn't had a long term girlfriend yet, she still hasn't come out to her parents and lived in a small, cramped apartment and it didn't look like she'll be getting out soon. She just wished something would happen, spice up her life a little. 

Sometimes you should specify when making wishes.

Her last client walked in right on the dot, he was a tall but relatively non descriptive man, his hair and eyes were both brown, his skin was a slight pink from staying in the sun a little too long, his build was a little above average, he had quite a bit of stubble, it was uneven, the sides being longer and fuller than the front. His voice was soft and pleasant when he greeted her and she got to work. 

She nearly cut his hand when she dropped the razor.

He had groped her ass, while she was trying to shave his stubble, she immediately stepped back, her grip on the razor loosened and he snatched his hand away before it sliced his hand. He looked annoyed.

She grabbed the razor again. She held it out in warning.

He got up. He was suddenly too tall. Too broad. She took steps backward. She walked into her table. He approached.

She held the razor, she was shaking. He grabbed her wrist. He was so strong.

She dropped it.

She's struggling. He's kissing her neck. 

Her hands free, he's grabbing her waist.

Get him away! Oh my god, just get him away!

She pushed.

He hit his head on the side of the table. 

Oh god. There's so much blood.

She's on the floor, checking for a pulse, it's so weak.

It's getting weaker.

Oh no. 

No nonnononono.

Bandages! Get the bandages and tie it around his head, stop the bleeding.

The bloods on legs, skirt, hands, she just needs to stop more blood from pouring out.

She ties the bandage up.

It's red already.

She checks his pulse.

She starts pumping his chest. Nothing.

Her arms ache, he's still not breathing.

She checks his pulse again.

It's the same.

Nothing.

Oh god.

Oh fucking god.

She's a murderer.

She killed a man.

She needs to leave.

She runs out the room, barely remembering to close the door. She's shaking. 

She sprints down the stairs, into the road and-

Oh. They didn't hit her. She stares at them. 

They stare back, she sees the man cataloging her appearance. She's terrified.

He gets out his car.

Oh no. Nononnono.

He gives her a handkerchief.

"Your hands are still bloody." He says. She blinks at the handkerchief. He holds it, his hands steady.

She reaches for it slowly. He waits.

She rubs her hands, they are tainted red but it's less noticeable. 

"Thank you" her voice is small.

"It's nothing" he says.

"Us criminals gotta stick together after all" he smiles.

"I didn't mean to..." she starts but trails off.

"Despite what everyone says, law can be really black and white. They'll say it's manslaughter, or murder If the other lawyer is good, and you'll be labelled dangerous and a criminal for the rest of your life." He says, his voice isn't cruel though. Just as if he's staying facts. He might just be.

"I'm going to be killed if I stay here for any longer," he says, smiling wryly. He flinches, probably from the bruises on his face. "You wanna get out of here?" He asks.

She can only nod. Criminals have to stick together he said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always trying to improve my writing so if you have any criticism please tell me in the comments!


	3. Introduction; Sasuke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet Sasuke, he drinks, he smokes, he pops pills and shoots dreams into his arm.

God...his head was fucking pounding...

Where the fuck was he?

Oh, he had been asleep on the welcome mat. He didn't even get to open the door. It was kinda funny.

Ow! Laughing hurts! Laughing hurts!

Okay Sasuke, ease yourself up, yep okay, keys?

Jesus fucking christ. 

He didn't have his keys.

Sasuke leant his head against the door, his eyes ached, the barely risen sun gratefully not attacking his retinas. He lifted himself off the ground, his hunched for expanding into a tall, fairly handsome but deathly skinny young man. He stumbled, steadied...and kicked his door open.

"Fuck" Sasuke hopped on the foot that hadn't kicked the door, holding the injured foot. He ended up tipping over and landing on his ass. 

"I fucking..." he sighed and stood up and walked inside with a barely noticable limp.

He just about remembered to shut the door. He went straight into the kitchen and opened a cupboard.

It was lined with medicine, pain killers and the such but the real impressive part was the seven boxes of valium, he picked up one box that was already open and took two out. It was highly Ill reccomend to do this. But he wasn't particularly bothered. Anyways, they weren't prescription, they were illegally brought. The world doesn't care what he does. 

Popping them in his mouth and, because he was feeling extra adventurous, took a big swig of grapefruit juice, he swallowed and went upstairs to sleep away the mistakes from last night's drinking binge.

Valium was meant to help stop alcoholics, he found that kind of funn- ouch! Laughing still hurts! Laughing still hurts! 

Sleeping for sixteen hours sounds refreshing but he woke up and hated himself.

He was a fucking disgusting waste of space. Not only was he a huge fuck up that got himself cut off from his family, he's now a loser druggie with a drinking problem with an extra dash of bipolar depression. Or manic depression. Or whatever the fuck it's called, he doesn't care. And, icing on the metaphorical cake of fuck ups he wasn't even going to help the world populate, hes heard the simpering "he's too pretty to be off the market" and the "are you sure he's not just in the closet?" So yeah, hes also some freak of nature apparently too. Too fucked up that he couldn't ever bring himself to date or fuck, he remembered that eventful evening when some old fuck called him an "obviously budding psychopathic serial killer" because he said he was asexual. Then dad had slapped Sasuke for embarrassing him. Wow, heartwarming family fun bonding time, great reminiscing. He needed a fucking noose or at least another round of drinking himself to self sabotaging levels of stupidity again. 

Drinking was great. Absolutely a delight. He drunk a lot. When he was feeling fucking ecstatic he drank like a fish because who could stop him, and when he was depressed, he drank like a fish because no one could stop him. It was a good system. When hes happy hes a happy drunk and when hes sad hes the most miserable bastard no one ever wanted to meet. 

Both times he was incredibly impulsive.

Getting off the floor, he accidentally stabbed his hand on a needle but he barely felt it, his pain receptors having numbed with the alcohol sloshing around inside him. He got up and spent a solid five minutes wrestling his keys to let him out. He almost gave up, today wasn't going to be that day. Until, the door opened. He walked out, didn't shut the door. If it got looted, well, he probably won't be around to find out. 

He made his way until he was at the edge of a road. A car was speeding towards him, he'd have to do this quick, before they had time to slow down. It was fast and expensive. 

He stepped in front of the car.

It made impact.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, if you have any criticism I'd love to hear them, I'm always trying to improve!


End file.
